Murder At The Retirement Home: A Red Sox Fantasy-..
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The year is 2003, and the New York Jankees-sorry, Yankees-have somehow snatched victory away from the valiant Boston Red Sox in the American League Championship Series. The horrid event sparks righteous anger up and down the Eastern Seaboard, but only Ima Schmucker, resident of Paradise-Can-Wait Retirement Home, has the distinct honor of being murdered over it. No one at the home liked Ima, even before finding out he was a Yankees fan. Obscenely wealthy and sometimes just obscene, Ima went through a host of wives, many of whom had the good fortune to die unexpectedly before they had to go out in public with him. Ima also had one of the worst diseases known in America: Bronxphilia. Major symptoms include love of the Yankees and irrationality. The two may be linked. When confronted with someone like Ima, what is pure, loyal Red Sox fan Aldo Cella supposed to do? Kill him? That's what the police think, but Aldo protests his innocence. Could someone else have thought it a civic duty to rid the retirement home of Bronxphilia before it could spread?
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